Secrets, Future Plans, and Blah-de-Blah

I’ll Let You In Something; or “Hell If I Know What I’m Doing!”

So I have to be honest. It’s been just a few short days since I came back from a mini-break in Las Vegas, and I am more homesick than a crackpot in a bull shop (think about it for a minute). I’m currently weighing my options, and figuring out whether or not to stay for one more year in Korea or come home. Financially, the best decision is to stay. But I want to get home…and I don’t mean in any particular way Las Vegas, though it is my default location. Mom is there; my friends are there; happy hour at BJ’s is there. If I had to decide right now, I’d bite the bullet and take the risk: I’d come back and face a horrid economy, complete with a tepid (at best) job market.

This raises the question of “What next?”, which staying in Korea for another year allows me to delay. But that’s not a particularly good situation, as I need to figure this one out in relatively short order regardless of what my ultimate decision is. If my past experience in just about anything has shown anything, however, it’s that I do rise to the challenge at the last minute. I’ve got numerous term papers and even job offerings to prove that one conclusively. So while I don’t know exactly what my course is, I’d bank on me getting there.

Oh – the crackpot in a bull shop analogy had no meaning or purpose. So if you thought about it longer than 30 seconds, sorry Kitty; let me know, and next time we’re together I’ll buy you a lager.

Getting Back Home

Speaking of that trip to Las Vegas, if I didn’t get to see you on this last outing please do not be pissed at me. I did not get to see a lot of people on this trip, and everyone that I saw (save for mom and family) I saw once. That being said, it was glorious to be back. Las Vegas and Henderson will always hold a place in my heart, if for no other reason than that I grew up here. I made some great friends in Southern Nevada, and had some out of this world mentors and teachers. I’ll always be grateful for that.

Closed

Given that the main title for today’s posting is “Secrets”, I might as well let you in on a pretty big one: I appear to have an inability to open up to anyone beyond friendship. Now don’t get me wrong, friendships are extremely crucial and important in my life; I’d be screwed beyond measurable doubt without them. And those closest to me have as good of an understanding of who I am as I do. But to let someone in on a more intimate level and to strike past the barriers of fear, rejection, second-guessing, etc., well that’s escaped me at this point. Now you might think it strange that I’d post this, but let’s be real: if you’re reading this, you actually know me. And what the hell – why not know something about my being that’s beyond the surface? We’re not completely the happy face that you see at the party; we’re something much deeper, much more obscure and difficult to locate. Hell at times, we can’t even locate ourselves. It’s neither a good nor bad thing, but we are who we are. So why not be honest and open about it from time to time, ey?. This realization hit me on the head like…well, another bad metaphor…and that’s pretty damn hard. As for the circumstances that brought this on, well I'll leave that to myself. I suppose some of it has to do with the fact that I prefer to fly solo, as it is much easier dealing with only oneself. I like to travel light, I guess.

Beer

Alright, now that I’ve posted something rather dour, this calls for a beer. A new wine and spirit shop recently opened up on Stephanie and Warm Springs in Henderson (Total Wine & More), and it’s nothing short of fantastic. I must’ve taken home over a dozen bottles of microbrews and imports during my 5-day stay back home. I particularly fell in love with Anchor Brewing, which you can find here. The older I’ve gotten, the more my relationship with beer has changed. I think the first one I ever tried was something they should serve in prison (PBR or Natural), and as such it took me a long time to come around to the idea of beer being something more than just a drink for moronic college twats to pound down while engaging in stupid horseplay, or hipster teenagers trying to feel cool by downing a few (you’re all doing it wrong, kids!). There is so much more to beer than that kind of crap; beer is spiritual, which is why you don’t get trashed or stupid on it. We’ve got some of the best microbrews in the United States that I think could easily compete with the rest of the world. When a pale ale hits your pallet and releases a (generally) bittersweet explosion of taste, there’s nothing that can make the moment better…unless Budweiser or Hite suddenly went under.

And that would be something to drink to.

"Kitty, Lumpia, and Whiskey.

What Is the True Meaning of Christmas?; or “Lumpia and Whiskey”

Earlier this evening, I had the great pleasure of joining some friends for a Christmas party at their church in Suwon. Although the service wasn’t exactly my brand, it was good fun all the same. There were quite a few people there from various backgrounds – Korean, Filipino, Sri Lankan, Anglo, etc. It’s an awesome thing to have such diversity for a number of reasons, but chief among them is that its proof in the pudding that religion has as much of a power to unite people as it does to divide them. And when such peoples are united, they are bound to create a whole hell of a lot of good food. I am now 15,000+lbs. heavier due to the assault on the Filipino table that I made. Adobo, lumpia, dulce leche, that thing with bay leaves, etc. all went down for the count. We all then later participated in a White Elephant exchange, and yours truly won a bottle of whiskey. Combined with the recent stash of beer I picked up while on base, this is going to be a very Merry Christmas.

Who Loves Kitty?

We all do; and if you don’t, you will after watching this video. 1:17 is how I feel at the moment; watch the precious fat kitty waddle about at 5:09.

Political Processes Can Frustrate and Unnerve; or “Barack Obama Needs to Borrow a Pair”

I’ve been taking a break from keeping up to date on politics and current events lately, much to the dismay of the entire world (which certainly depends on my keen insight and understanding of what’s going as a bellwether). One thing that has peaked my interest, however, has been the recent deal between President Obama and Congressional Republicans on extending tax cuts (for everyone, including income earners of over $250K/yr) and unemployment insurance. This follows a threat from Republicans to hold up all pending legislation – including the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and extension of unemployment benefits – unless tax cuts were extended for top income earners. Instead of holding fast and HAMMERING THE HELL out of his Republican counterparts, Obama caved in to a deal that does nothing to help the economy and extends our deficits.

The political battle itself wouldn’t have been that difficult. Democrats WANTED to permanently extend the Bush tax cuts for most income earners, letting only the cuts for very high income earners ($250K+) expire. Yet you’ve got 41 Republicans who would hold up extending unemployment benefits for people who can’t find work just so they can extend billions in tax benefits to the rich. Instead of taking to the airwaves and using the Power of the Pulpit, Obama and his team caved. At least one guy has the cajones to call them on it.

One wonders what it would be like to have a liberal progressive president who actually fought for what he or she believed in; at least someone supposedly more moderate like Hillary Clinton would know how to go to the mattresses every once in awhile.

This is Insane

I mean seriously. That much hair gel and house trance music make my drug-free bloodstream SCREAM for cocaine.

Sickness, Zombies, and Video Games; or "Someone Throw Me Into a Swimming Pool of Antibiotics...or a Giant Margarita"

It’s been five days since I contracted some form of viral plague. I’m not entirely certain what it is, as my doctor (the veritable Dr. Choi; quiet man, comfy slippers) initially said I had a strain of the flu, but then later changed the prognosis to a larynx/throat/lung infection. It’s entirely possible it could be an early form of pneumonia as well. On Friday, it got so bad that the doctor had to put me on a bed and run an IV through my arm for a couple of hours. I’ve never had that before; I guess you could say it was very exciting, but I’m in no mood to be very excited. I just want my damn health back, and the desire to breathe without simultaneously praying for death. As a consequence of my ailment, I’ve been confined to my shoebox for the next two days, having already spent the weekend here already. Some good has come out of this, though. It turns out that one of my co-teachers whipped up the absolute BEST homemade chicken noodle soup I’ve ever had in my life. It was like a wet dream with chicken broth…and penne pasta.

A Shot Seen Around the …Doctor’s Lobby

So after I’m done visiting with Dr. Slippers, I’m escorted into an adjacent waiting room by the nurse who would inject me with a delightful needle filled with…I don’t know, anti-sick shit. Anyway, she gestures to me to drop my pants, as she would storm the Bastille from behind; I comply, not caring one bit that she had to look at my wrinkly pathetic patooty (the thing is flatter than Sarah Palin’s view of planet Earth). She popped it in, pulled out, and gave me a little square wipe to press the spot so the minimal bleeding would quickly dissipate. Just as she handed off the wipe, the nurse flung open the door and walked out without closing it behind her. As I turned around to look for her, I saw a lobby filled with Korean women (and their children) staring at my bare and bony ass. Some were shocked, others were amused, and at least one turned away (presumably in horror?). I rushed to pull up my jeans, but by then the damage had been done.

Zombies in America

I was talking with a friend of mine a few weeks ago on the state of affairs of American/Western society. He had an interesting commentary on how things are at the moment: we’re a nation of zombies. In the last 10 or so years, there’s been a major rebirth of zombie- related films (Day of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Shaun of the Dead, ZombieLand), and he posited that it was no coincidence. We are also hooked into some sort of corporatized Stockholm Syndrome, he argued, where we have allowed ourselves to become a captive audience to the forces that be – our government, our companies, etc. At first, I thought he was being a bit far fetched in his ideas. But the more I think about it, the more I agree. The first example that I can think of in this new millennium is the 2000 election debacle, in which the man that won the election – in both Florida and nationally – did not actually become president. There were no real mass protests or demonstrations at the blatant punch in the face of democracy, or at the abortion of a Supreme Court decision that gave us George W. Bush as President. But throw in the Iraq War (no reason to go, and it was a popularly-support war), declining wages, loss of jobs, economic stagflation for most people coupled with prosperity for the upper crust of society over the last ten years, and the near-destruction of the economy due to greedy bastards on Wall Street, and what should you have? Mass public participation in economic, political, and social fourms. People should be fighting for their livelihoods and right to live in dignity; instead, it seems we’ve castrated ourselves by believing in the false narratives of a corrupt oligarchic political-economic system. Most people understand that the heads of Pfizer, Bank of America, Delta Airlines, virtually every Wall Street financial firm, etc. don’t give a rats ass about them, but we’re all too comatose to do anything about it. The fact that there weren’t mass arrests in the 10005 zip code after the meltdown is really disheartening.

Congress isn’t much better, as a bunch of Republican deuchbags – one Sen. McFartyPants is particularly deuchy for his sanity-bankrupt stance on DADT – are currently holding up all legislation until we extend taxcuts for income earners of over $250,000,  while at the same time balking at extending unemployment benefits during the worst economic period in the history of ever (except the Great Depression; that was mad depressing). Whose interests do you think they really have in mind? Further, we’ve been talking about the supposed insolvency of Social Security so much that you’d think it’s going to break down tomorrow; it’s not. It’s one of the greatest scams that’s being hoodwinked over people. A few adjustments in the system makes it solvent; one of the biggest adjustments would be to eliminate the ceiling at which payroll taxes are deducted, currently at $108K/yr.

So our economic and political systems are largely ineffective (and arguably hostile) to the needs and wellbeing of most Americans, instead serving the interests of a few at the expense of everyone else. But what of our societal pursuits? What are we doing in the realm of music, art, film, culture, that kind of shit, etc. that’s advancing the cause of our common humanity? Perhaps this donut pizza, accompanied by awful beer, can lead us to some answers.

We’re Doomed.

On the Lighter Side…

Click here for hilarity.

Losing Interest in Things That Were Once Relevant; or “Flight Simulator Bores the Hell Out of Me”

I spend a fair amount of my free time playing various video games, mostly Flight Simulator and a modified computer version of Madden (programmed with 2010 rosters and bother bells/whistles). For a long time, I took a sense of enjoyment in these games and others. But lately, it seems that playing those games serves no purpose other than to fry my brain cells; besides, the 49ers can only win so many consecutive SuperBowls before I realize I’m playing through a game-world that could never see its replication in real life (they’d be lucky to hit 8-8 this season, like every other season). I guess this is part of growing up, losing interest in things that once peaked your imagination and enjoyment. Aviation in general seems to be a losing love for me, something I never thought would happen. Yet the industry has been severely tattered in recent years, with labor relations going to hell, airlines merging left and right, and new aircraft concepts looking like sterile mule-child experiments. I’ve taken a greater interest in reading lately, mostly in terms of news and blogs. I didn’t follow current events all that extensively up until last June, when I first arrived in Korea. I guess mindless forms of entertainment – be they videogames, endless drinking binges, voting Republican, etc. –  can serve a purpose of escapism that itself needs to be escaped from.

In some ways, I’m starting to think that my gauntlet to Korea was rooted in a not-yet-understood form of escapism. I can’t readily explain it now, so maybe I’ll do so in the future. But suffice it to say, I don’t think taking a year or two – or ten or twelve, in the case of some veteran teachers that I’ve met – really helps you to “find yourself”, whatever the hell that means. I think I know more about myself now NOT because I am in another place, but because I am away from home…I hope that makes some sense, even though I’m not fully elaborating. Now all this being said, I’d like the record to show that my experience in Korea has been mostly great. Except for being sick this week. And the awful awful beer that permeates this binge-drinking society.

Confessions to Make

A. I've been at war with correct grammar and usage of various things like commas, periods, and ellipses. But I've never gotten anything lower than an A- on a major paper, so kiss my grits.

B. I’ve been listening to 1990s boy band music a lot lately. I feel dirty and wrong.