I'm making this post at 8:44pm on July 12, 2010. The last post I made was just over two weeks ago, which just flabbergasts me. I could swear I made my last post one week ago, not two. But such is the case of our existence - time is so short, and life really does go by quickly. The last four or five years have been a real blur, which contrast with the immediate four to five years that preceded them (high school). That itself is a testament to the strong memories that I hold from being really really young. Then again, I'm 23. I'm not exactly Oldy McFarter...just yet. That being said, I sometimes feel like it. The last week has been an eventful one in some respects, but it's also been equally reflective.
Hwaseong Tour
This past Wednesday, all the Native English Teachers (NETs) in my region were treated to a little tour around the area in which we inhabit. We had three stops - 1. A royal tomb 2. A soap-making bit and 3. The site of the March 1st Independence movement. I have to admit, I wasn't fully cognizant of what was happening for the first two, as I was just enjoying the scenery and greenery of what was around me on the first and absolutely intent on not making quality soap on the second.
The March 1st movement site, however, seemed to be a catalyst for a set of reflective opportunities for me throughout this week. I could go into a big history lesson about it, but I think the wikipedia article here does more justice to it than I could (though not as much as the Koreans here) - click here. Basically, Colonialist Japan was noted for its extreme brutality towards subjugated countries, both before and during World War II. The atrocities committed by the Japanese were terrible affronts to humanity, and the visit to the memorial of the March 1st Independence Movement was a sobering reminder of the great evil that is capable of being executed through human hands. Stories were told of soldiers torturing - and even mutilating - civilians. My co-teacher from the Philippines recounted stories of babies being thrown in the air only to land on the bayonets of Japanese soldiers in her native country during World War II. Without going into further graphic detail, the history that I've read up on for the last few days has surfaced some very important questions that have been in the back of my mind that I haven't truly resolved. Namely, Theodicy; or, "The Problem of Evil". How does a just and loving God allow such iniquity in this world? I've answered these questions before with a somewhat dismissive answer involving the nature of God as working through human beings. This is entirely problematic for a host of reasons, the greatest two of which I find are 1. human beings are prone to selfishness and internal conservatism (protecting one's own at the expense of everyone else) and 2. the evil borne throughout the world, the pain inflicted on others and experienced by them are such that the existence of that loving and just God HAS to be questioned. To not do so is to be an intellectual fraud, which I feel I've been the last few years in trying to deal with this question. The simple truth is that I don't have an answer. I don't know where God is when entire armies literally rape and pillage villages. I don't know where God is when children are sold into sex slavery, as still is the case today. I don't know where God is when an evil megalomaniac is able to kill 12 million men, women, and children under the guise of purifying the human race. I don't know where God is during the thousands of years of unbelievable pain and suffering that human beings across the planet have gone through. Christ died on the Cross, yes. That was a terrible fate to suffer. But at least (in the Christian tradition) it had meaning. Where is the meaning in the millions (billion?) of other crucifixions? Pray that we find the answer.
Human beings are decidedly messed up creatures at their worst. Of course, the opposite also exists. I've read of and seen extraordinary acts of kindness, generosity, and love by many people - theists and atheists alike, Christians and non alike. I'm in a weird place right now spiritually. All I can say right now is that both life experience and religion have taught me the same thing: be kind. Love others. Lying, stealing, cheating, etc. all lead to worse outcomes for everyone involved than if we all decided to be responsible and honest with one another. It's all one big Game Theory. As my lovely Liz Ashbaugh says, "Always Cooperate".
All these questions lead me to more questions about my own existence and my own purpose for being. At the moment, the purpose is simply to learn as much as I can about my surroundings (language classes soon! Though you'd be surprised how much common courtesy and a smile will get you, in the East and the West). Atheism to me just doesn't work, as there has to be some proximate cause to all of this. By "all of this", I mean life, consciousness, existence, etc..."all of this". Randomness can't seem to fit my perspective. But reconciling a broader sense of purpose in the human experience with the horrific acts we all commit against each other is not small potatoes.
River Rafting
Yesterday, I did something completely and utterly out of character - I went out into the great outdoors. Aided by a number of good traveling companions, an air conditioned bus that play Boondock Saints on a big screen, and plenty of rest-stop breaks, we roughed it against a series of small and not-at-all intimidating river "rapids". The "rapids" were not at all problematic; the bouncing our asses in the air to get our stuck raft off a massive boulder, however, gave me a big red ass; indeed, what was once a hyperbole phrase now is fact. All in all, it was great fun. The scenery was absolutely brilliant, and the company kept was great fun. Posted on the flickr (link below) are some pictures that I took.
Teaching (my job)
As much as I have been having theological questions that serve to make me eat bad peanuts and drink cheap beer (which is dreadful in Korea, by the way...please Jesus, make this USA-SK free trade agreement extend to beer imports, as that 100% tariff serves only to prop up bad SK beer companies), I have to say that I enjoy my job. There's not a ton of stress involved; in fact, the most difficult part is getting me to focus. That has admittedly been a problem since I was...conceived, I suppose, but once I do focus on something I generally tend to fare well in the final analysis. But work is quite good. The kids are what make it so entertaining and enlightening. I want to mention a few key personalities without mentioning their names (that I can't pronounce without verbal dissection):
"Sue"
This is a 5th grader who reminds me of Hillary Clinton - and I voted for Hillary, mind you. She's exactly what I picture when I hear of Koreans being described as pushy (which is a Western sentiment applied to an Eastern culture...it's not fair to compare apples to oranges, even if we're all fruit). We recently played a game of "Blazing Pens", where two students from opposing teams come up to the board to unscramble a sentence and write it out as fast as possible. The winner earns a point for his or her team. While Sue is great at conversation, her teammate was far better at grammar. So she pushed him up to the board. And I mean that exactly as it is written: pushed him. She then looked at him with that look that suggests death is a real possibility if failure occurs. He took his team all the way to the final round, undoubtedly motivated by fear of his impending doom if he loses.
And then he lost in the final round. Sue was not at all happy. I raced over to her and said "Honey, it's going to be ok. Please don't hurt him." She certainly didn't know everything I said, but the boy came to class during our next meet. I might have saved a life.
"Matty"
Matty reminds me a lot of me at his age of 10 years old: intelligent, humorous, and wildly undisciplined (some things never change, in my case). His family situation has been described to me as tenuous, as his parents don't seem to get along. I can't help but set him aside as one of my favorites, because the kid has so much potential in spite of the circumstances he finds himself in; he would also do well with more challenging material. One word of note: there is a decided difference between having favorites and playing favorites. One is a natural function of life; the other is adultery.
"Jen"
Jen is one of the funniest little kids I've ever seen in my life. One day, I took off my flip-flop (which I get to wear in class, as you can't wear formal shoes...yes!) and she ran over, grabbed it, and ran around the room with it. When I tried to recapture it, she ran some more. I chased a little Korean kid around a room for my damn slipper. I eventually won when I pretended to forget the matter, started to teach, and got them into book work. Just as I was roaming the class, I jumped into action and retrieved my stolen flip flop. Every time I have her in class, she points at her foot and grins, as if to gloat that she took Foley Teacher's flip flop. Fair one, Jen. I'll get you too.
Alright, I must log off. I need to post more often, and I shall - not everyday is an adventure worth posting 5,000 words, though. It's a great gig I've found, and a very important part of my life that I'm living out. But I still eat, drink, go to the kitty box, and work as I did back home. The eating, drinking, and even the kitty box are different, however. I do have iTunes radio, cheese sent from my wonderful aunt and uncle in New York, and consistent assurance that the San Francisco 49ers will undoubtedly underperform to keep me from going insane due to a lack of Western intervention. That, and I get two channels of the BBC here ^^. That being said, if you're reading this I do WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU. I miss you. More than you know.
Photos posted here.
